Happiness

Happiness is a Choice...

This comes not only from my life but from the lives of others.
Did you know that Happiness is in fact a choice? It isn't a gift we are born with, it isn't what fate hands us, it isn't even about the kind of person you are. It is a choice. Just like you decide what to eat for dinner or what to wear, it is a choice.

Our problem is that we have been programmed to blame. We blame work for making us mad and frustrated. We blame taxes that we don't have enough money. We blame all over the place. We say things like "You ruined my day or my mood". And I do mean we folks, cause I do it too. But I try hard to take the responsibility that is mine.

Here it is pretty cut and dry... each of us responsible for each and every mood we have. Someone provokes us, it is our choice to get mad or not. Someone laughs at us... it is our choice to find the humor with them or to get hurt. We don't like our jobs, it is our choice to stay and accept or have the courage to change the situation. It seems almost every day I hear people tell me this is wrong with their lives, that is wrong with their lives but they don't seem in slightest bit willing or able to change what is in their lives.

When Master or Mistress isn't being who we want or wish them to be, do you pout or whine or blame? If you do, you are wasting you time and your life on something you can't change. You can't make the boss nicer; you can't make the rain go away. But you can decide to not let it rule your life. Yep, a submissive said that. When Master is in a bad mood, I don't have to let that mood become my own. If he wants and chooses to be angry or unhappy, who says I have to take that on my back and make it my problem. I don't!! That isn't part of being in this relationship, and it should part of being in any relationship. I can choose instead to be happy, and give him space to recover his own good mood.

I have learned that submissives have this habit of picking up the mood of the Top and thinking they can either fix it, or that it must be their fault. Okay sometimes it might well be their fault, but then they should go and speak to the Top and find out what the problem is. If it isn't them, then they should back off and get out, unless otherwise requested. Don't try and fix it!! Back off! Trying to fix another person only leads to becoming the victim of their anger.

Your choices make a difference but the biggest difference they should make is to you. Take responsibility for your feelings and understand they are your own. Choose to be happy, no matter what, and you can be that way. No matter what the job is doing or the life is doing. Choose to be angry and frustrated and you will live that way.

So many times I hear people use the line "I will be happy when... .fill in the blank." It can be almost anything. When I get a new job, when I loss twenty pounds, when my Master does this thing for me, when, when, when. It is always when, not now. Okay so now that it has been decided you won't be happy until this thing happens, what are you going to do for today and next week and maybe the rest of your life, if you don't get this thing to happen. Don't wait for the when, make a choice each day to be happy, because you are alive and gives you the chance to have another day another moment to seek what you want to and to enjoy what you have now.

I know it all sounds so easy right? It isn't and I know that. Every time Master and I have cross words with each other, it is very hard to make that choice. Both of us are all too good at holding on to being angry. But I have learned that if I will just let it go... and choose to be happy, then it allows Master to let go too. The longer I hold on, the worse it gets for both of us. I try and take responsibility for the feelings that are mine and deal with them.

Don't blame the world or another person for how you feel. Take a look inside and decide how you want to feel at this moment and make a choice. After all we should all be good at that, we make a choice to submit, or to receive the submission of another. You can make this choice too.

I read this just the other day and I really like it…

“The past can be a terrible weight bound to you by and unbreakable chain.  You can drag it with you, forever looking over your shoulder at what holds you back.  Or you can let it go and move forward.  Its your choice.  For those who live centuries, it’s a very important choice.”

Now we don’t live centuries like the people he is talking about, the reality is living shorter spans of times means you have even less time to waste on the weight of the past. Just food for thought.