Poly 2 More Experience in Poly

More Experience in Poly

May 2001

One of my friends was spending a fair amount of time with us, and as will happen sometimes especially in our community, some flirting of a physical nature started up. I didn't have a problem with this. In fact, when I went out of town I said sure, go to apex and play with her. I trusted her and I trusted Master. And before anyone thinks they disappointed me by breaking that trust, don't...neither of them did that.

We began spending lots of time with this friend and Sir was enjoying her company a lot. Truthfully I wasn't feeling very comfortable with how things were going. Master was pretty focused on having her collared to him, and although I didn't really think this was a great plan, my words of caution fell on deaf ears. I ran hard into one of those slave problems, to do best by Master I needed to tell him my concerns and why I didn't think it was a good idea, but also as a good slave I needed to shut up and accept his choices and trust him.

After much soul searching and trying to find the words to make Master understand, I finally accepted that I did need to trust him and let it go. I let it go and embraced it, as I believed Master wanted. It wasn't that I didn't like this woman, I liked her a lot. It was just that she was in a pretty raw place from things in her life and she wasn't doing much to improve or solve the situation. Nor could I see spending the rest of our lives with her around us. Not sure why but there is an energy and rightness to things in my home, a way of looking and dealing with things, and it didn't appear to me that she could be a part of that in the long run.

Her heart was torn between the safety and security of being in a relationship with Master. He isn't a man to ever seek out drama. Or she could try and figure out her feelings for another Man in another town who did have a very large feel for the drama. She broke it off with him and asked Master for his collar. He gave it to her with heartfelt sincerity. And only two weeks later it was over.

She figured out she couldn't give up the Man in the other state, and that she had made a mistake. The sad part was the way it was handled at the end. Instead of just asking for release and help because she knew she made a mistake, she got defensive and hostile with Lee. Eventually he released her of his own accord there just wasn't anything else to do. In her effort to deal with her own actions and feelings, it really felt like she was trying to make Master the bad guy in the picture.

The situation just sort of ended with us all ignoring each other. Master and I both learned stuff about each other and ourselves. I won't be keeping my mouth shut again, and he understands where I was coming from now. I have also learned I was wrong about me needing to love them. That isn't really the truth. After all for anyone to be allowed into my home to spend time already have to care about them a lot. This is our home and our safe place. I don't have people here that don't have a place in my heart. What I discovered was that the other woman has to care about me as much as she does about Master. I ended up feeling like I was a stepping stone to Master instead of included in the love. If that makes any sense at all.

And then again…

The whole poly issue has come up again...and this time we both said nope wait it out. As with most folks there seem to be way more complications than solutions. And Master built a pretty strong attachment to her, and her focus was on him but there was the waiting and there was also the reality that this girl needed to get clear of the other complications in her life before we would even approach the subject in a serious way. I didn't fight it this time. I could see good points and maybe a shot at something down the road. I also knew fighting didn't do it last time, so I just asked for time. In the end she took the collar of another Dom, and that was okay too. This was someone we respect and care about a great deal and really do believe he will do good things for her. Our relationship with her has become pretty much only casual since then. Master sense of honor wouldn't allow him to feel comfortable spending so much time with another Dom's submissive.

We both came to understand as well that it probably would have never been a good match in the long run anyway. Again back to that place of how you see the world and the people in it. I think in the end even if she hadn't moved on, it would not have been possible for her to be a part of our family because we just don't see the people in it the same way.

And life goes on too…

For the many years we were dealing with financial issues, job changes, relationship stress, moving and all the crap that goes on, we sort of sucked at keeping our own relationship as solid as we would like just trying to survive was taking up all our time and energy.  You can’t give to others when you can hardly take care of yourself, pretty simple math really.

Here we are once again on the poly road, can your believe it?  I can’t, really just figured after all the failures along the way we just won’t bother with it.  This time though it has gone very different.  It was a friend again but a friend we have known for years and years.  It was someone that Master had played with many times and each and every time there was always great energy.

To me it always seemed clear there could be more and yet both of them worked very hard to never cross a line.  As friends staying friends was the priority.  And so with time and more time spent together the whole thing just grew very organically.  It is ever so comfortable and easy for all of us.  We see each other all we can and really for the first time ever so many of the issues we faced before haven’t come up.  It has been going on for almost a year now and really has been a blessing for all us to find this very easy pleasure for all of us.

I don’t know if it will ever turn into a 24/7 thing, as our friend still would like to find her “one” but I am sure no matter what happens, none of us will be the worse for this experience.  Really, isn’t that all you can ask for in any relationship?