Poly 3 Advice

Poly - Philosophy or What I learned along the way…

I had all this written out in a long story format but really it was just long and wordy so lets just knock it down to the important bit.

1. If you want poly just so you can have sex with more than one person, don’t do it, join a swingers club or go to one, but poly isn’t about just sex, it is about relationships.

2. If any persons involved is jealous or competitive in nature this is not the kind of relationship to seek out.  It will just make it worse, you won’t make your submissive get over her insecurities by having a poly relationship, and you will just make it worse.

3. If your relationship isn’t on solid ground, life is hard and there are a ton of stresses you possibly make room for another person.  There has to be room in your life to share and if you can barely survive the day in and day out there is no room.

4. All the people involved must be respected and allowed to have their feelings.  Nobody should ever be ignored.  Each and every concern should be addressed.

5. Each person should be able to set rules to make it work in their life.  For example, while I don’t care about Master having sex with another woman, I really don’t want to hear the details.  And right up there on the big no no for me, I have asked that he never compares me with anyone else.  After all we are individuals and comparing us makes it seem in my head as though there is an element of competition instead of cooperation.

6. Like all relationships, communicate, communicate, COMMUNICATE!! Don’t make excuses in your head that you just don’t want to rock the boat or that someone doesn’t really want to hear you…you just have no choice, you must talk so no one feels left out and hurt.

7. My Master used to have something of a Knight in Shining Armor complex.  Being able to help the damsel in distress held great appeal to his ego and sense of importance.  Like many men he would become attracted to the feeling more than the person and that needy person would then become a drain.  So the rule then…don’t get into a relationship because you think you can help, get into it because you really like that person, you can talk to them, they make you laugh and it feels good just to be with them.  I am very glad to say while he will always be my Knight in Shining Armor and the helpful friend, he hasn’t run off to rescue anyone in some time.

8. No matter what the primary relationship must be attended too, don’t get so lost in the newness of a relationship that you forget the one that got you there.  It is a great way to breed contempt and anger.

9. So hell…I ran out of suggestions for the moment…Really folks it is hard to be the big grown ups, to share nice and never feel insecure about your place in the world but if you can, if you feel solid and real and know there is room in your heart for even more love well hell go for it, consenting adults and all that and really all I can say is good luck, I wish you well.